Hello cheek chiselers! It is 2017 finally! (please refrain from saying “new year new me” I beg of you)
When I think of 2016, it reminds me of that feeling you have in the morning when you first wake up and have mucus in your throat? yeah. that reminds me of 2016.
But in all seriousness, 2016 was a culmination of ups and downs, blessings and lessons. Something else this year was full of was trends. Every year there are certain trends, fads, ideals, that we all wish would just STAY there! Jackie Aina, one of my FAVORITE makeup youtubers to follow started these hilariously amazing videos called “trends to ditch in …” every year. This year, I wanted to put in MY two cents on makeup/beauty trends that don’t need to be making an appearance in the new year.
- KARDASHIAN KLONES/WANNABEES
You know the ones. suede skintight dresses, strappy heels, fur coats, they’re always on instagram in fashion nova jeans and eating those hair gummie vitamins. One of my biggest pet peeves is unoriginality, and these wannabees spew it out of their armpits. Nothing wrong with them as a person. Don’t get me wrong, these girls are gorgeous. I just wish they would aim to be themselves, as opposed to someone else. Hell, the Kardashians don’t even look like the Kardashians! I am so tired of carbon copy k-lones walking around changing everything about themselves for what? Being just a sheep following the herd that’s showing T&A all over Instagram for some likes! But i’ll get into that later. Ladies, please be yourselves. Strive to be more like yourself than someone else. Because with all of you doing the same damn thing, none of you shine bright.
2. RIDICULOUS MAKEUP CHALLENGES
You know what I mean, we’ve all seen them “100 coats of foundation” “Candy as makeup” “Baby food as makeup” “Applying makeup with a candle” I think we’ve left the realm of exploring creative ways to do makeup, and entered the realm of foolish baboon-ary. This is clearly a bad cry for attention. Like seriously? How the hell are you planning on this turning out? hmm? I like the occasional challenge, like the one brand challenge, hands only, sure. go for it girl. challenge yourself. But don’t set yourself up to look like a damn fool.
3. GROSS DIY CONCOCTIONS
Ever since IG got video (R.I.P Vine) Beauty influencers have been using it to showcase so many things. One thing, DIY beauty treatments. Now your girl loves to do it yourself. anything to save some claude, and get some beauty benefits. BUT we have to bring it back! DIY face mask with honey and banana, cool. but you heifers have just gone crazy. we got beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes, YOU NAME IT. the sad part is, I am not exaggerating. Someone used tomatoes under their eyes in a video on my IG feed like today. STOP creating these gross nasty witches brew concoctions! WHY would I put garlic, horseradish, squash, and black beans on my face? The struggle is not that real! Tone it down, i know you want those likes, but can we achieve that without turning my stomach with the contents of your DIY facial cream? And on a similar note I want to add, STOP PUTTING STUFF IN YOUR MOUTH! especially CHARCOAL! I know you want those pearly whites, I know. but can you just brush your teeth with baking soda like we’ve been doing instead of mixing garbanzo beans and charcoal powder ?! And to top it all off, the results are not even all that breathtaking! Yes, after putting the entire contents of your fridge on your face you have smooth skin. You could have used an all natural moisturizer though.
4. OVERDOING THE OIL ON THE LIPS
I love lip swatch videos. but there is something that some of you all have introduced into the blogosphere that is trying my patience. Tell me. Do we really truly need to take those extra 10-15 seconds to drop oil onto your lips??? I mean come on! I know we are not trying to look crusty and dusty. I love using argan oil on my lips once in a while. But you all just have to do the most with it. pouring on five drops for one lip swatch! come on! then with all the oil the lipstick gets all slippy and it’s just not cute. let’s leave this in 2016.
5. KIDDIES ACTING TOO GROWN
little kids acting grown is nothing new, but it seems like 2016 was the year of the thot transformation! I was probably the only kid/preteen who was not looking to act older than I am. Hell, I still act like a kid sometimes! But now 13, 14, 15 year olds swear they are fully grown! they have cleavage, virgin lacefront wig, colored contacts, botox, and lip injections. it’s seriously sad. I don’t know who convinced them that they had to grow up so fast or that there is something wrong with looking like your age in your own body, but that is just wrong. Be a kid! play games! laugh at fart jokes, play hula hoop, feed your tamagotchi, and PLEASE stop trying your elders. I did not spend those 5 years I have on you doing nothing boo. So take what I say and use it.
6. MAKEUP ON BABIES
I like makeup. I like babies. But when people put a full face of makeup on a baby for no damn reason but for some likes, that is just NO BUENO . I mean come on. the baby doesn’t want to be smeared with this stuff, like seriously? Can’t we just have cute babies without makeup? doesn’t that make actual sense?
7. CULTURAL APPROPRIATION
I am a black woman living in the 21st century and I am an advocate for my race. There is something so upsetting about being mistreated when history already shows the constant bad treatment of people of color, whether black, hispanic, muslim, asian, indian, etc. But speaking on my own race, this year I noticed how things started by my culture, was being made out to be new and trendy on a white person, while on someone of color, was ratchet and ghetto! I even wrote a post on here about “boxer braids”. We all need to respect everyone’s culture and heritage, is the point. The most important thing though, that I wish will come out of 2017, is that everyone feel the same injustice and offense from when something like this happens. Don’t just sit there and let it happen because it isn’t affecting you. And just stop! respect that that culture started something, and don’t get it twisted mmkay? mmkay.
8. SUGAR BEAR HAIR GUMMIES & FIT TEA
I was really trying to leave this at 7 but I had to include those sugar bear hair gummies and Fit Tea that are annoyingly ALL OVER THE GRAM!!! And they always have the gummies in their mouth like we don’t know that you’re supposed to eat them. And that tea? I knew when you guys started using the tea in the bath, and on your armpits and stuff that you had gone over the deep edge. I know you’re trying to earn some claude, but please you guys. keep the foolishness in 2016!!!
9. BEING EXTRA IN INSTA VIDS
Makeup lovers, I enjoy a good minute long video on IG showing me some slayage, or swatches, or any numbers of things! BUT if I am watching a video on a makeup look, why are you spending half the video trying to look cute holding the products??? Look girl you cute! No need to prove it by holding a pair of lashes and making the duck face at the camera! And then some of y’all take it so damn far. Why am I seeing cleavage in an eyebrow tutorial? Get it together!
10. BIG OL’ FAKE FRECKLES
Freckles are so freaking cute seriously, if you are born with freckles, rock them girl. they will always be timeless. I actually used to think the big pores on my nose were freckles and I felt really cool but then I learned the truth and was very sad. Anyways, faux freckles were big this year. I posted about it in summer trends, and it carried on for the rest of the year. They did colored, rainbow, glitter, hologram, natural looking, all kinds of freckles! But I am here to call out the people DOING THE MOST! Did you people forget what a freckle looks like? Did you never see one in life? Or did you just feel like putting big dots all over? It is just madness how crazy people look with big brown (or colorful) dots on their nose/cheeks! And there were too many methods for freckles. the eyebrow pencil technique, the flick the brush technique, the dish sponge technique, the orange peel technique, etc. 2017 does not need any of your attempts at freckles. My grandma draws on one beauty mark. KNOW YOUR LIMITS. If you must do faux freckles, keep it tiny and freckley. But you should know that no technique shall not surpass mother nature.
Alright you guys, 10 trends to leave back in 2016! I had alot of fun writing this post and really hope you got a good laugh out of it, or also want to keep some of these trends in 2016 as well. The most important thing in 2017 is to be positive about how this year is gonna be you guys! Also remember that although it may sound corny, it truly is so important to be good to one another and to be yourself. We are gonna SLAY this year!
XOXO, Sage Slays